Description: On Tuesday, I had an appt. with the psychologist at the school @ 1100. I had gotten up around 10 am and decided that I would have a shower so I could leave the house at 1030. My wife had also phoned me @ 1030 to make sure that I was up so I would be on time. After getting off the phone with her, I proceeded to take my time getting ready not worrying that if I was a little late for the appt. that it would have to be rescheduled. I call the counselling office to let them know that I was running late and the secretary informed me that I had to be there by 1115 or the appt would have to be rescheduled. I knew that this appt was important to my wife b/c it would show her that I really did care what happened to our marriage. I raced to the school and had trouble finding a parking spot, so by the time I got to the office it was 1120 and I was told that it was the school policy that after 15min. past the scheduled time the appt must be rescheduled.
Feelings: I was MAD at myself for being so selfish. I felt like I gave my wife the pen to sign the divorce papers. I HATE MYSELF. I feel like i should just let everything go, school,work, home, marriage. At least that way I would stop hurting my wife on a daily basis.
Evaluation: Looking back I can see where I really went wrong and that was when I was downloading Glee on to my Ipod b/c I couldn't wait for it when I had time to actually download it. Getting angry for things that I did of my own choice was childish. I just blamed the everyone else for inconveniencing me, I took no repsonsiblilty for may actions.
Analysis: I can learn a lot from just being aware of what I am feeling and try to find a way to change the negative feelings to positive feelings.
Conclusion: Through this process I have learned that there are more important things to be worried about such as being on time for my appt's instead of downloading something that I could have done when I got home after school.
Action: To prevent this action from happening in the future, I have to put priority to what is important and what really can wait.
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