Lying yet again

Description:  I was leaving for work last night and I thought I left my iPod in the house. Even after searching for it in the car. I came back into the house and went into the office to look for it. I found it in my pocket. I then as I went to leave again Tia had asked me what I was looking for in the office to which I responded with "my phone"!! Tia then immediately said that was a lie because she had just seen it in my jacket pocket when she was putting the money in my wallet. I then responded to that with that I had taken my phone out in the office, which i didn't.

Feelings: I was thinking that if I had told her that I was looking for my iPod, she would have just responded with "Why do you need to take it?", so I felt that it was easier to lie and say it was for my phone instead. I knew that the response that I would get wouldn't be one I liked so; I tried to say something that would make more logical sense in my head. Not that it really did, knowing that she had just been in my jacket pocket. Gee, do you really think she is that gullible? 


Evaluation: There only good that came from that lie was that I didn't hear Tia say "Why do you need to take it"?  It was definitely a bad experience b/c it just pissed Tia off for lying again and made myself look like a fool for lying about something so inconsequential and pointless.

Analysis: I can only say that the reason I lied was b/c it was easier to make something up rather than tell the truth. I knew that if I said what I was really looking for, it would get me into trouble.  This then gives me a reason to send myself down the spiral of shame and worthlessness just like a child getting scolded for doing something wrong. Wow, I try to manipulate even when it is about something so pointless!! The lying just continually put more and more nails in the coffin so to speak, rather than trying to remove the nails and letting us take a breath.

Conclusion: I could have just told the truth and saved a whole lot of heartache and HEADACHE for Tia. This would also leave me feeling good instead of shameful and like I deserved the guillotine for punishment.

Action: JUST TELL THE FRICKEN TRUTH!!!!